Saturday, May 12, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Happy Birthday, Gabriel. 10 years. Sigh.
I think of him as a baby but he would be getting big.
A quiet day... My husband took the day off and watched my daycare kids so I could stay in my PJs until noon and then I went out for a massage and pedicure. This evening we went to our 'normal' spot (a nearby church cemetery) and let a balloon go and ate brownies. This year we also blew bubbles. It was sweet.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
S.K. sent me this email:
The best advice and the most hope I gathered after the death of my baby was my psychiatrist's candid and loving response: "You will never get over this; but in time the pain will hopefully lessen and fade away."
The minute he uttered those words, "you will never get over this," I immediately felt a large boulder fall away from my shoulders. Not much later, I realized he had given me permission to feel and hold my grief and cherish it so that I might someday leave it and heal.
The best advice and the most hope I gathered after the death of my baby was my psychiatrist's candid and loving response: "You will never get over this; but in time the pain will hopefully lessen and fade away."
The minute he uttered those words, "you will never get over this," I immediately felt a large boulder fall away from my shoulders. Not much later, I realized he had given me permission to feel and hold my grief and cherish it so that I might someday leave it and heal.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Five Art Exhibit in Lancaster, PA
If you are within driving distance, join us for a community reception at the Mulberry Art Studios in Lancaster, Pennsylvania January 15 from 1-4 for the art exhibit Five. Stephanie organized this to honor her daughter, Madeline, who would have turned five this week.
All of the artists are parents who have had a child die. My husband is one of the participating artists with a sketch he did of me.
You can see a newsclip by clicking here.
You can read more about the Five art exhibit and Stephanie's Sweet Pea Project by clicking here.
All of the artists are parents who have had a child die. My husband is one of the participating artists with a sketch he did of me.
You can see a newsclip by clicking here.
You can read more about the Five art exhibit and Stephanie's Sweet Pea Project by clicking here.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Dr. Joanne Cacciatore from the MISS Foundation has said it so well on her blog.
MISS Foundation families were shocked to hear the comments issued from Alan Colmes on Fox News on January 2, 2012. Mr. Colmes’ reference to Mr. Santorum's baby who died, and his desire to spend time with the baby's body during the postmortem period, as "crazy"
If you are as disturbed by this event as I am click here to read Joanne's complete post.
((hugs))
MISS Foundation families were shocked to hear the comments issued from Alan Colmes on Fox News on January 2, 2012. Mr. Colmes’ reference to Mr. Santorum's baby who died, and his desire to spend time with the baby's body during the postmortem period, as "crazy"
If you are as disturbed by this event as I am click here to read Joanne's complete post.
((hugs))
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Reminded over and over again today that I should have an almost 10 year old. Holidays are hard. ((hugs to all of us)) and Merry Christmas
From Stephanie over at Sweet Pea Project
In keeping with the spirit of giving, Sweet Pea Project will light a candle at the five art exhibit for the first 100 parents who make a request on Christmas Day, no donation necessary. To request a candle please email your child's name to Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org with the word Candle as the subject. We are unable to take requests any other way, so please do not reply to this post or send a message via facebook. For more info on the candles, please visit www.sweetpeaproject.org/five/candle. Thank you for allowing us the privilege of honoring your child.
From Stephanie over at Sweet Pea Project
In keeping with the spirit of giving, Sweet Pea Project will light a candle at the five art exhibit for the first 100 parents who make a request on Christmas Day, no donation necessary. To request a candle please email your child's name to Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org with the word Candle as the subject. We are unable to take requests any other way, so please do not reply to this post or send a message via facebook. For more info on the candles, please visit www.sweetpeaproject.org/five/candle. Thank you for allowing us the privilege of honoring your child.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The Duggars have gotten such negative feedback about the photos of their stillborn daughter, Jubilee. I wanted to post this well written piece from someone who 'gets it.'
Do you have photos of your child? We have a few hastily snapped polaroids that the hospital nurse took. I do not display them, but am glad I have them. I wish I had thought or knew to take some that would be easier to look at, like a photo of me holding his hand. You do the best you can at the time.
Do you have photos of your child? We have a few hastily snapped polaroids that the hospital nurse took. I do not display them, but am glad I have them. I wish I had thought or knew to take some that would be easier to look at, like a photo of me holding his hand. You do the best you can at the time.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Christmas Card Exchange
Does anyone want to participate in a Christmas Card exchange? If you would like to, please email me at nick wilberg at hotmail dot com with your name (how you'd like the envelope addressed) and address and your baby's name. I'll take names until Saturday, Dec. 17, and then send the list out to all participants.
((hugs))
emily
((hugs))
emily
Friday, December 9, 2011
Christmas Cards
Do you do something special with your Christmas cards to include your baby? I have seen cards with baby angels on them, and I know some people include their baby's name in their signature or stamp it with a special stamp (a little star or heart) to include their child. What do you do?
Monday, December 5, 2011
Stephanie at the Sweet Pea Project has a lot going on over there. One thing she invited all to participate in is the 'community expressions wall' during the five art exhibit.
Here is the info:
In January 2012 Stephanie Paige Cole's newest art exhibit, five, will open at Mulberry Art Studios. Te exhibit features Stephanie's work as well as pieces from many other talented artists, all bereaved parents themselves. And we would like to invite you to participate as well, by creating a simple piece for our community expression wall.
You do not need to have an artistic talent to participate, all you need is your love for your child, your honesty, and a piece of paper.
The community expression wall will consist of the honest expressions of the hearts of individuals from across the globe. It is my hope that it will give non-bereaved guests a glimpse into our experience. If you would like to contribute, please read the instructions below. For full details about this exhibit please visit www.sweetpeaproject.org/five.
Submission Instructions for Community Expressions Wall
On a 3x5 index card, respond to one of the following:
1. How are you, really?
2. This is my love
3. This is my grief
Children may participate by drawing pictures on 3x5 sized paper
You may answer with words or pictures using any materials you wish. It can be as simple as a single word written in sharpie or as elaborate as your imagination allows. You may send in multiple submissions.
All submissions must be 3x5. Mail your piece(s) to us at Sweet Pea Project PO Box 10351 Lancaster, PA 17605. If you would like your piece(s) returned to you at the end of the exhibit, please be sure to write your name on the back and include a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
Submissions must be recieved by January 1st, or delivered to the gallery in person on January 15th during the reception.
Thank you so very much for sharing yourself with us.
Here is the info:
In January 2012 Stephanie Paige Cole's newest art exhibit, five, will open at Mulberry Art Studios. Te exhibit features Stephanie's work as well as pieces from many other talented artists, all bereaved parents themselves. And we would like to invite you to participate as well, by creating a simple piece for our community expression wall.
You do not need to have an artistic talent to participate, all you need is your love for your child, your honesty, and a piece of paper.
The community expression wall will consist of the honest expressions of the hearts of individuals from across the globe. It is my hope that it will give non-bereaved guests a glimpse into our experience. If you would like to contribute, please read the instructions below. For full details about this exhibit please visit www.sweetpeaproject.org/five.
Submission Instructions for Community Expressions Wall
On a 3x5 index card, respond to one of the following:
1. How are you, really?
2. This is my love
3. This is my grief
Children may participate by drawing pictures on 3x5 sized paper
You may answer with words or pictures using any materials you wish. It can be as simple as a single word written in sharpie or as elaborate as your imagination allows. You may send in multiple submissions.
All submissions must be 3x5. Mail your piece(s) to us at Sweet Pea Project PO Box 10351 Lancaster, PA 17605. If you would like your piece(s) returned to you at the end of the exhibit, please be sure to write your name on the back and include a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
Submissions must be recieved by January 1st, or delivered to the gallery in person on January 15th during the reception.
Thank you so very much for sharing yourself with us.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thanksgiving
I hope you have a gentle week. Thanksgiving can be tough. I'm reposting my last year's post below.
If you haven't yet submitted your Aloha Remembered request and would like to do so you can still squeak it in today.
((hugs))
emily
I know this is a difficult time of year. We are supposed to be THANKFUL, which can be dang hard when you are missing your baby. You are maybe surrounded by family and it is obvious your baby is missing. And maybe there are cousins or other kids there the age your child ought to be. And family members who may or may not be the most sensitive types giving advice on how to get over it or what you should be doing.
Yep. A hard time of year.
Someone shared an idea with me that I thought was brilliant.
She said when the family is sitting around the table they have a toast to remember family members who are not there with them.
Amazing.
It can have different meanings to different people, and it is something I can do without wondering if anyone thinks I'm bonkers.
Is there anything you do on Thanksgiving to remember your child?
Wishing you gentle days-
peace-
emily
If you haven't yet submitted your Aloha Remembered request and would like to do so you can still squeak it in today.
((hugs))
emily
I know this is a difficult time of year. We are supposed to be THANKFUL, which can be dang hard when you are missing your baby. You are maybe surrounded by family and it is obvious your baby is missing. And maybe there are cousins or other kids there the age your child ought to be. And family members who may or may not be the most sensitive types giving advice on how to get over it or what you should be doing.
Yep. A hard time of year.
Someone shared an idea with me that I thought was brilliant.
She said when the family is sitting around the table they have a toast to remember family members who are not there with them.
Amazing.
It can have different meanings to different people, and it is something I can do without wondering if anyone thinks I'm bonkers.
Is there anything you do on Thanksgiving to remember your child?
Wishing you gentle days-
peace-
emily
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Aloha Remembered- your baby's name in the sand
Aloha means hello, goodbye, love, peace, compassion and mercy- A perfect word for the many emotions a mom feels who has had too short a time with her baby.
My sister wrote Gabriel's name in the sand of a beach close to her home on the North Shore of Hawaii. It is a beach set aside as a ‘quiet place of reflection’. It seems so suitable to me that it is not a permanent thing, but rather, just like Gabriel, it is here for just a minute and then gone. But for a brief moment, the world is a little different because of him.
For the next few weeks we will be accepting names for our Aloha Remembered project. You can request your baby's name by clicking the link and checking out through the sidebar. Please put your baby's name in the 'notes'.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Please submit your request by NOVEMBER 20. We are going to be charging for this service so that we will able to donate from the proceeds. Thanks for letting us do this for you.
peace-
emily
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Dia de los Muertos
I've never thought much or done much about Day of the Dead (it's not real big in Maryland!) but wanted to share this excerpt from the book I'm currently reading, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver (she and her family decided to spend a year eating local foods only.. very interesting book but a little preachy)
Anyway, about Day of the Dead Kingsolver writes:
"Dia de los Muertos is still an entirely happy ritual of remembering one's departed loved ones, welcoming them into the living room by means of altars covered with photographs and other treasured things that bring memory into the present. Families also visit cemeteries to dress up the graves. I've seen plots adorned not just with flowers but also seashells, coins, toys, the Blessed Virgin, cigarettes, and tequila bottles.(To get everybody back, you do what you have to do.) Then the family members set out a picnic, often directly on top of a grave, and share reminiscences about the full cast of the beloved dead, whether lured in by the flowers or the tequila, and it's the best party of the year. Food is the center of this occasion, especially aromatic dishes that are felt to nourish spiritual presence...
Anthropologists who write about this holiday always seem surprised by how pleasant the festivals are, despite the obvious connections with morbidity. Most modern lives include very few days penciled onto the calendar for talking and thinking about people we miss because they've died. Death is a gulf we rarely broach, must less celebrate joyfully. By coincidence... a different, ancient non-Christian holiday from northern Europe is also celebrated at the same time of year. That one is called Hallowe'en and reinforces an opposite tradition, characterizing death as horrifying and grotesque. Far be it from me to critique an opportunity to dress up and beg free candy, but I prefer Dia de los Muertos. It's not at all spooky. It's funny and friendly...
I'm drawn to this celebration, I'm sure, because I live in a culture that allows almost no room for dead people... But I think I understand now. When I cultivate my garden I'm spending time with my grandfather, sometimes recalling deeply buried memories of him, decades after his death.... That's ...a memory space opened before my eyes, which has no name in my language."
Do any of you celebrate Day of the Dead? What are your traditions?
Anyway, about Day of the Dead Kingsolver writes:
"Dia de los Muertos is still an entirely happy ritual of remembering one's departed loved ones, welcoming them into the living room by means of altars covered with photographs and other treasured things that bring memory into the present. Families also visit cemeteries to dress up the graves. I've seen plots adorned not just with flowers but also seashells, coins, toys, the Blessed Virgin, cigarettes, and tequila bottles.(To get everybody back, you do what you have to do.) Then the family members set out a picnic, often directly on top of a grave, and share reminiscences about the full cast of the beloved dead, whether lured in by the flowers or the tequila, and it's the best party of the year. Food is the center of this occasion, especially aromatic dishes that are felt to nourish spiritual presence...
Anthropologists who write about this holiday always seem surprised by how pleasant the festivals are, despite the obvious connections with morbidity. Most modern lives include very few days penciled onto the calendar for talking and thinking about people we miss because they've died. Death is a gulf we rarely broach, must less celebrate joyfully. By coincidence... a different, ancient non-Christian holiday from northern Europe is also celebrated at the same time of year. That one is called Hallowe'en and reinforces an opposite tradition, characterizing death as horrifying and grotesque. Far be it from me to critique an opportunity to dress up and beg free candy, but I prefer Dia de los Muertos. It's not at all spooky. It's funny and friendly...
I'm drawn to this celebration, I'm sure, because I live in a culture that allows almost no room for dead people... But I think I understand now. When I cultivate my garden I'm spending time with my grandfather, sometimes recalling deeply buried memories of him, decades after his death.... That's ...a memory space opened before my eyes, which has no name in my language."
Do any of you celebrate Day of the Dead? What are your traditions?
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